Sweet Rocket

Romance Reviews, Author Profiles and More…

Hideous Romance Novel Cover: Rainbow Magic by Margaret Mayo

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No, your eyes are not deceiving you — this book is actually titled Rainbow Magic, and yes, there are not one but two very creepy Mac Davis lookalikes on the cover.

Because things are not cray enough already, here’s the book synopsis:

Taryn scoffed at the village theory. How could a special rainbow bring about a change in one’s life? But when she saw it, she couldn’t help her growing excitement.

Her meeting with Luke Major immediately afterward was a distinct letdown… and a shock.

Luke was an exact replica of Taryn’s ex-fiance. And Taryn could do without the kind of changes he had made in her life!

And there’s more! Do go on over to Goodreads and read this hysterical review of this gem.

Oh, and just in case you don’t know who Mac Davis is, how’s this for context:

Blurb’s the Word/Hideous Romance Novel Covers Two-In-One: Cautious Lover by Stephanie James

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It’s apparent that the hero is the cautious one here. No woman is cautious who’d put herself in imminent danger of being swept out to sea. No woman is cautious who’d wear that sweater. No woman is cautious who’s wearing that sweater to be swept out to sea in the company of a man who looks like “Burning Down the House”-era David Byrne.

Now I’m curious. Just what is this supposed to be about, anyway? Here’s the blurb:

LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE

Jess Winter always operated with a master plan, and Elly Trent found herself on schedule to marry him. He said she was everything he wanted: undemanding, reliable, tolerant—and she could cook! Elly wanted to scream. Jess claimed he wasn’t arrogant, merely assertive, as he rearranged her life to suit him—and herself, as well. How could she object when Jess gave her everything she wanted:?.. Well, almost everything.

Just once, Elly wanted to shake Jess’s iron control. She was no femme fatale, but there is little that can stop a truly determined woman. Bearding a lion in his den is never without consequences—but Elly hadn’t realized they could be so delightful.

Well, here’s a first. I feel like I know less about a book after reading the blurb than before.

Turns out that Stephanie James is one of Jayne Ann Krentz’s many many many pen names. And reviewers at Goodreads say this title hasn’t aged very well…

Cautious Lover

Stephanie James

Silhouette, 1986

We’ll just pretend like we never saw this hot mess and enjoy the Talking Heads: